Domestic Abuse and Homelessness
Everyone always has some comment to say when it comes to leaving a Abusive relationship trying to put the blame on someone or see why another person reacted the way they did, but once the victim of the abuse leaves they have no idea how to help them. Now they may be stuck in a weird place of being on the street and trying to find some kind of sanctuary in different forms. This isn't their fault, no one deserves to be taken advantage of, manipulated, or just treated as if they were less than in any way shape or form. To any person going through this male, female, non-binary, transgender, or a-gender person going through this it’s not your fault. You getting out and leaving was the best thing you could have done for you, you deserve the best in life and this is a step towards that life. Now to others that are currently helping family, friends or anyone going through this.
I'm going to say some things that you can do to help or if you think someone is in a situation like this. These are also some helpful things you can do and say to help them get out of the relationship safely. If you are going to help house a friend that just came out of a domestic relationship, but you can’t or don't have the facilities to house them with you, check your local surroundings to find transitional or emergency shelters. Transitional housing is just housing to help get you back on your feet for a low cost till you are ready to be by yourself again, these housing are helpful because they can help keep you off the street where your abuser may find you again and they help you take some control over your life until you have all control over your life again. Emergency shelters are a quicker place to find for if you can't go back to where you were just living, this work if you can't get into or find a place to stay.
I would prefer both of these places over homeless shelters because there's a small sense of safety in emergency shelters and guarantee safety in transitional housing. Remember to always be a listening ear to friends that are in a domestic relationship and don't blame the abuser for anything just listen. Now I’m sure some of you may be asking is this a mistake in the article or did I mess up but now I meant what I said, it’s common that if you put the blame on the abuser while talking to the abused, they may get mad or start to reject you due to past feelings they had for the abuser. Since that's not what we want we focus on the abused and how to help them out of that situation. I'm aware of how this sounds because yes if they hurt your friend, family member or whomever it maybe you may want to go off on them, but you have to realize that that may make them stray away from wanting to leave altogether.
You want them out of the relationship and house just as much as anyone else, just check on with them and if they decide that they fully want to go make sure they have a place to stay alongside everything they need for this. Remember you're not there to play the blame game, commonly depicted in the media is a person being kicked out in a domestic relationship and everyone trying to put the pieces together as to whose fault it is. That's not the point and it never will be leaving a relationship like that and deciding that you would rather be on the street rather than with your abuser is one of the strongest things in life to me. These people should not be depicted and broken down but rather seen for their emotional strength and how far they have come. Something else I would like to add that doesn't just stand for domestic abuse and homelessness but any homeless person don’t dehumanize them they know what they like and they are still entitled to what and who they like, not what their standards and liking should be. If this is currently or it has already happened to you, you are strong individually up to any par and I believe with everything in me you will overcome this.
Until next time, Niah (they/she)